If you have a closed off teen you will need to be creative to get the information you seek. With one of my children I spent time with them and tried to ask things in a way that did not pry but at the same time helped open the line of communication. Many times I was shut down. When this happens – do not take it personally, just try a different method – get creative! Create an environment that says you will listen, get them in a neutral location and put down all your walls, have some fun then watch and listen.
When something is concerning, do not react as you normally would that may shut down the conversation (work on your shock and awe face). If your child feels that by sharing openly with you they will get a lecture or in trouble they will not open up. Also get to know and listen to interactions with their friends. Those friends gave me more information than my child ever did. It was the information I gained from friends that sparked a lot of conversations about choices and the consequences of bad choices. I tried to work hard and got little, it was frustrating. Always let you teen know you are there so if they do decide to open up it’s you they come to.
A Fellow Parent